I'm not perfect. I never claimed to be. But for some reason when I fall short of perfection my brain tells me that I've failed at something that should have been possible. The reality is that nobody's perfect. Expecting it of ourselves or even thinking that other people might be it... can be highly damaging. … Continue reading Perfection is an Illusion
In going through my saved links recently for a different post, I came across this post from Cynthia Kim --Echolalia and Scripting: Straddling the Border of Functional Language. I've read it before, of course, that's why it's in my saved links; but today this quote from it felt really familiar. It describes a recent experience … Continue reading Communication is Hard
Over the last 3 months, I've had a dizzying array of personal and professional realizations. I've had to revisit and revise still more memories in light of these revelations and I do not like it. Not even a little bit. Not that the realizations themselves have been bad, quite the contrary, but the work to … Continue reading Time to Work Through the Past
Over this past month I've been gradually reading Autism and Asperger Syndrome in Adults by Dr. Luke Beardon. I enjoyed reading this concise overview of some of the ways being Autistic affects many of us. I found several sections to be helpful in my own life both currently and in helping to reframe more of my past … Continue reading Book – Autism and Asperger Syndrome in Adults
Great review of Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate by Cynthia Kim.
Counterpart found this to be the most helpful book for trying to understand me better ❤ So I wholeheartedly recommend it for allistic (non-autistic) spouses, partners, friends, etc.
I loved it myself too!
The subtitle for this book is “A User Guide to an Asperger Life” and that pretty much sums it up. It is also a memoir in that the author illustrates the points she is making with anecdotes from her own life.
Because the target audience for this books seems to be, for the main part, other autistics, like me, rather than just those trying to understand them, I found it so much more useful than the self-help type books aimed more at NT parents. Especially as Cynthia was only diagnosed at age 42, and I’m now 41 myself. There is so much useful information here on things like managing sensory issues, on how aging might effect us, on how to manage relationships including marriage.
Again, like all the books I’m reading, I see so much of myself in these pages, even though a lot of situations are different too. For…
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I usually can't name my emotions. This is not an optimal thing, of course, because emotions can affect all kinds of things and it's difficult to control or understand such things when I'm unaware of what they even are. So I somehow developed a containment system over the years. I have this ability to lock … Continue reading Emotional Containment Failure
Otherwise entitled: "How can a desperate parent tell when a book about parenting an Autistic child will be helpful vs harmful?" (with a short detour to start with) https://twitter.com/mamautistic36/status/972198323770753024 I'm an Autistic parent. I've never found a lack of understanding for parents in general from the Autistic community. Just a lack of understanding for parents … Continue reading Evaluating Autism Parenting Books
I want to write about how arrogant it is to assume that one knows what another person intends better than that other person does. Quick note: I'm not talking about intuition or situations of abuse. If your intuition is telling you that someone is not a good person for you to be around then you … Continue reading Accomodation, Assumption, & Presumption
I could've alternatively titled this, "In which Aria attempts to stimulate *allistic empathy for Autistics." Chorus -- Allistics (non-autistics) who do not listen to Autistic voices are wholly unable to accurately represent Autistic perspectives and yet they are often the ones considered "Autism Experts." CW: Some swears for emphasis, brief mention of suicide, some links … Continue reading #ActuallyAutistic Voices
Disclaimer: When you've met one allistic (non-autistic), you've met one allistic! The communication quirks and difficulties my allistic counterpart presents may be totally different than the communication quirks and difficulties another allistic counterpart may present. My allistic counterpart and I recently unearthed another communication issue in our marriage. When I ask a question it's because … Continue reading Accuracy in Questions and Answers