Convergence

CW: the feeling of overwhelm

All the things meeting together.

April Autism Awareness, past resurfacing, traumatic space revisiting.

Utter exhaustion.

Hiding from the world, mostly.

Time stretches on, limitless. Pulls, longer and longer. Floating in infinity.

Until, like a rubber band, it snaps.

Suddenly, it’s two weeks in the future and there are hundreds of unread emails, comments, important messages, all behind.

There’s no catching up.

Words, even written words, are unreliable. Sometimes here, sometimes gone.

Tiredness seeps from my very bones.

Every step, every action feels impossible to complete.

Once-easy tasks become insurmountable, draining, onerous.

Managing day-to-day with difficulty.

Plans dashed aside by the overwhelming waves. Crash! against the shore.

What is the bare minimum? Can it be achieved?

Sleep. So much sleep is what I need.

How long since I’ve created music? Cooked? Gardened? Read a book?

Too long.

Longer than my attention span, only fit for scrolling through feeds.

While my life and my yard keep filling with weeds.

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